[Scalded Dog]

My phone is so old... it's carved out of stone, and runs on coal. It's only app is an Abacus duct- taped to the back.

So far, the phone has been okay. Yes, I need a new one, but this one has always functioned "well enough" for my needs. Until today.

I was getting ready to head for work. Out in the front yard, a little before 5AM. In the dark, I heard a noise. It was difficult to see what it was, but then I finally discerned a giant black shadow... 400- 500 pounds of black bear, just strolling on past me.

Holy crap. typically, black bears are not aggressive, and they're mostly vegetarian, but thing thing showed no fear of me. Every bear I've ever seen here before was small to medium... never seen one above 250 pounds. But THIS was was at least 400, maybe 500 lbs... with each lumbering step, his entire body sort of rippled and jiggled with bear hugeness.

After he passed, I figured that this would be a great opportunity for some pics. I got in the car, rolled the window down, and got the camera ready on my my phone. By now, the bear was at my neighbor's house, knocking trash cans over. I pulled up as close as I could. The bear looked at me, and appeared slightly irritated that I was there, but the bear showed no aggression. Still, I left the car in gear, just in case.

The bear even approached the car. When it was about five feet away (yes, I could hear it breathing), I snapped a pic... the phone, in its ancient crappiness, instead of taking a picture, then asked me if I'd like to purchase a game from the Verizon store. Crap... I reset everything, got the camera ready, in place, hit the shutter again... and the phone asked me who I wanted to text. The bear was still there, practically posing for me, five feet from my face... and the damn phone would not function.

Over the next few minutes, I followed the bear to a couple of other houses. He knocked the cans over, but apparently my neighbors eat all of their leftovers, because the bear was not having any luck.

I was also not having any luck. Sure, I got the phone to eventually ACT like it was taking pics... but they were nothing but grey fields of boring grey, bordered by grey, and filled with grey. Not bear- like in shape, by any stretch of the imagination. Flash on, flash off, didn't matter... nothing but craptastic grey.

So, I know: Pics or it didn't happen. I know, that's the rule.

As soon as I get a new phone, I'm taking a sledgehammer to this one, and will spend some quality time getting even with it.

[Dwarfey]

That's some intense detail so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt

[Mr Twisty]

I'm calling BS

great lie though

[Steve Dallas]

[CruisingSpeed]

WOW a bear! Is your car ok?

[LuSe4]

Bears, beets, Battlestar Gallactica.

[Scalded Dog]

Originally Posted by LuSe4

Bears, beets, Battlestar Gallactica.

And, there are only three things that are square: Cheese, plates, and bears.

[Scalded Dog]

Originally Posted by Mr Twisty

I'm calling BS

great lie though

It's the bear truth!

[stoopid]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Oh yeah, right...