[Michael_Js]

It's a MUCH simpler procedure than what a woman would need to go through!

Go for it!

[BMT CAMERO]

JUST DO IT IT NOTHING

[Mr Twisty]

Here's a handy tool if you'd like to DIY



Just open the tool to expand the rubber band, pull it up over your junk, release, and after 6 weeks or so they'll fall right off

[Pollock]

Originally Posted by MisterCamaro69

Here's a handy tool if you'd like to DIY



Just open the tool to expand the rubber band, pull it up over your junk, release, and after 6 weeks or so they'll fall right off

[TAG UR IT]

Originally Posted by TIE FIGHTR

I've already reproduced twice...and that is enough!

to the OP...Nothing to it! Couple bags of Frozen peas to rotate and a few days rest. I had mine done in '04, scheduled it on a Thursday with the PGA Players Championship all weekend! Milk it for all its worth though...my wife never waits on me hand and foot, except that weekend!

Peace of mind shootin' blanks. Priceless!

Funny...when I went in for the procedure, lying on the table, the nurse goes in to prep the area, and she says "Oh, nobody told you that you needed to shave?", I says "Uh, no...", she says no problem and proceeds to shave the area for me. I looked at her and said, "You know, for some reason, I always imagined having some woman other than my wife shave my balls for me would have been a lot more erotic...This just ain't doing it for me!"...She cracks up just as the Urologist walks in the room, my gents in her hand, and both of us laughing, he says "Uh, you two need a little more time?"


Guess you had to be there.

LMMFAO!!!


I was so NOT wanting to do this and was in PQ's shoes (ain't gonna happen) but we talked about it plenty of times. I told her to just get it done when we were having #2 son. Nope. I talked to plenty of other friends who had it done. A huge plus by the guy having it done? It can be reversed if need be (sure it'll hurt more, but wtf, right?...like SOOCH said, she popped out a 6 inch SKULL from her ******).

30 minutes and it was done. Just felt like someone tugging on your sack. Uncomfortable, but no PAIN. In and out of the office. I went home, had 3 days off to recoup, and was on a ladder putting up Christmas lights in about 3 hours. The best part? The wife doesn't have to worry about the pill anymore (which also can have adverse effects...not to mention missing can get ya another kid). Plus, you never have to worry about condoms anymore and there is just NO worry about accidents. It's DONE.

Sure, I felt like my manhood was kinda taken from me...but I got over that in about a week and haven't had a single regret.

Originally Posted by SSOOCH

FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!

Seriously. If you don't want to have kids anymore, the best thing to do is for the Husband or Man or Sissy (in PQ's case )in the relationship to go get snipped. The procedure is nothing. As long as you're smart about it and have it done on a Friday afternoon (most docs only do it at this time for this reason) and then kick back and ice the boys you'll be just fine.

By making your Lady go and get her tubes tied or to take the "pill" can have serious effects on Her health.

Come on MEN. She popped a six inch skull out of her ****** for you! The least you can go do is have fifteen minutes of discomfort.

AMEN!!!

Sisssssssssy!



Come on PQ!

Originally Posted by MisterCamaro69

Here's a handy tool if you'd like to DIY



Just open the tool to expand the rubber band, pull it up over your junk, release, and after 6 weeks or so they'll fall right off

AGH! Get that crap away from me!!!

[Blackhawk6]

Ok, PQ just for you and anyone else in need:

Penis owners instruction manual

Welcome to the world-wide family of penis owners. We trust that you will enjoy many years of trouble-free service from yours. To help ensure that you will, we encourage you to familiarise yourself with the following equipment descriptions, operating instructions and maintenance requirements.
BODY AND INTERIOR SPECIFICATIONS (all model years)

PENIS


Average length and diameter (flaccid)

3.5 x 1.25 inches
Average length and diameter (erect)
5.1 x 1.6 inches
Average percent increase in volume, flaccid to erect
300% (wow!)
Longest medically recorded erection
12 inches
Amount of blood in erect penis
8 to 10 x normal
Average erections per night (while sleeping)
5
Average duration of each nocturnal erection
20 to 30 minutes
Estimated replacement value (good condition model)
£50,000

TESTICLES


Average length and width

1.4 x 1 inch
Average weight
0.875 x 1.75 ounces
Temperature
94.6 degrees Fahrenheit
Compartments within each
400

SPERM


Average body's production

50,000 per minute/72 million per day (and remember lads, it only takes 1!)
Days to maturity
84
Number in ejaculate of average fertile man
200 to 600 million
Number of ejaculate of infertile man
less than 50 million
Percentage of total ejaculate
3% - 5%
Average swimming speed
1 to 4 millimetres per minute
Average life span once mature
1 month in you, 1 to 2 days in woman, 2 minutes on sheets

SEMEN


Average volume of ejaculate

0.5 to 1 teaspoon
Chief ingredient
Fructose sugar
Caloric content
5 calories per teaspoon
Protein content
6 milligrams per teaspoon
Average number of ejaculatory spurts
3 to 10
Average interval of ejaculatory contractions
0.8 seconds
Farthest medically recorded ejaculation
11.7 inches

BLADDER


Average capacity

7 to 13 ounces
Normal flow
7 to 8 ounces per 10 seconds

STARTING THE ENGINE
The key to your sexual ignition is not between your legs, it's inside your head. The brain is man's biggest sex organ, sending nerve impulses running down the spinal cord to trigger an erection. Keep in mind though that since arousal is an electrical spark travelling the neural motorway it can be dulled by a repetitive commute. So vary your starting procedure, explore side roads, stop at a roadside service area, let your partner drive, or, when applicable, road-test a new model.
HARD STARTING OR STALLING
If your penis fails to become erect, even after repeated cranking, or if you have trouble maintaining an erection, let it idle for a while. Just about every man experiences an occasional erection problem, so try not to let it bother you. If you do it can develop into a psychological problem that can require extensive systems analysis to remedy. Chances are you are just temporarily flooded with work worries, anxiety or fatigue - all of which can temporarily foul your engine. If the problem continues, ask your mechanic about a new injector. Certain drugs can be injected directly into the penis, producing longer lasting (one hour or more) erections within moments. Coming onto the market is a plunger-type system that inserts a small pellet of erection producing medication into the tip of the penis. Another solution is a vacuum constriction device: when the penis is inserted into this cylinder and the attached pump engages, a vacuum is produced that causes blood to flow into the penile shaft. A rubber ring is then slipped onto the base of the penis to trap the blood in the shaft. As a last resort, you may want to consider upgrading to a penile implant. (See "Available options/upgrades").
CAUTION! The following can shrink a relaxed penis by two inches or more:-
Cold weather, chilly baths or showers, sexual activity, exhaustion, excitement (non sexual), illness and Richard Branson.

OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS

1. DIRECT THE FLOW OF URINE The penis contains a narrow hose called the urethra that is attached to the bladder. As the urine level approaches the bladder's maximum capacity line, you get the urge to pull over. When released, urine is flushed through the urethra, out the tip of the penis and, according to most women, usually on to the floor next to the toilet. Acting as a regulator for this process is the Pubococcygeal (PC) muscle. This is what you flex to stop urine flow or rid yourself of those last few drops. (It can also serve as an orgasm regulator. See Troubleshooting" later in this document.)
2. BECOME RIGID ENOUGH TO ALLOW PENETRATION DURING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE Your penis is equipped with twin hydraulic chambers. During sexual stimulation, these fill with blood until the penis grows firm and erect. After stimulation ends or there's ejaculation, blood leaves these chambers and the penis softens again. There is usually a recovery or "refractory" period ranging from a few minutes to a full day (depending on the equipment's age) before another erection can occur. About half of the penis is hidden inside the body, even when erect. It is fastened to the pelvis undercarriage for support.
   
3. DEPOSIT SEMEN WITHIN THE ****** DURING EJACULATION Sperm is manufactured inside the testicles, those two ball joints below the drive shaft. From here, it passes into a soft, fibrous organ behind each testicle called the epididymis, where it acquires the long tail necessary for swimming. Sperm then enters the Vas Deferens for storage. This thin hose loops around and splices into the urethra just below the bladder. When it's time to shift into sexual high gear, sperm is mixed with liquid from the prostate gland and adjoining seminal vesicles. The resulting transmission fluid, called semen, gathers in a holding tank, which gradually swells to pinch the bladder shut and prevent urine from trickling in. Finally the semen is expelled from the body via the urethra by a series of muscular contractions.

CAUTION!

The testicles need to be slightly cooler than normal body temperature for optimum sperm production. That's why they hang away from the body. Hot baths and tight underwear can depress sperm count and movement.
WARNING!
Never operate your penis while under the influence of alcohol. Although alcohol lowers inhibitions, most men have less than optimum erections when inebriated. The fear this generates can lead to more frequent bouts of impotence.
SPARE TYRE
Your privates did not come equipped with a spare tyre. Any roll of fat around your middle was an after-market acquisition that will void the warranty if left in place. It not only interferes with sexual performance but also makes the penis look smaller. Men naturally deposit fat in their abdomen, which includes the area at the base of the penis. As the spare tyre inflates, this pad thickens and eventually engulfs a portion of the organ - one inch for every 35 extra pounds. Being overweight is also commonly linked atherosclerosis, or narrowing of the arteries, a primary cause of impotence. It also makes you look silly.
RUNNING-IN PERIOD
To ensure a long, active life for your privates. It's recommended that you engage in frequent sex. According to noted body mechanics Masters and Johnson, "When the male is stimulated to high sexual output during his formative years and a similar tenor of activity is established for the 31 to 40 year age range, his latter years are usually marked by maintained sexuality.
ACCELERATION 0-60 MPH
Independent testing shows that it generally takes three to five minutes for the flaccid penis of a young male to become fully erect once sexual stimulation begins. This reaction at least doubles with age.
WARNING!
Avoid rapid acceleration on slick surfaces. Failing to do so could cause partial or complete loss of control.
SUDDEN STOPS
Slamming on the brakes whilst driving at high speed can result in a painful condition. During sexual stimulation, blood gathers in the testicles. If ejaculation doesn't occur and sexual excitement continues, the resulting congestion in the arteries in that area causes a dull pain, like that of an aching muscle.
HANDLING
In order to become familiar with the natural feel of your equipment and learn how it responds in different situations high speed sexual driving on a closed circuit can be helpful. According to a recent survey, nearly one tenth of British men do this weekly (a greater ration in the North of England naturally). And contrary to popular belief , it will not harm your equipment, in fact, it can be viewed as good practice lap for sex, where you're forever flirting with the limits of control.
ENGAGING THE CHOKE
To postpone ejaculation and extend love making, engage "the choke". This technique involves firmly squeezing the top of the penis just behind it's head prior to orgasm.
CAUTION! Any impact to the area where the penis attaches to the pelvis can disrupt its hydraulic function.
FUEL REQUIREMENTS
Your privates were designed and developed for optimum performance and efficiency using high-quality fuel. Low-quality fuels cause cholesterol build-up in arteries and veins, thereby reducing blood flow to and from your privates and causing hard starting or stalling. In fact, every one-point increase in your total cholesterol correlates to an almost 1.5 times greater risk of erection problems. To avoid this use fuel that has a fat combination below 30 percent and is low is cholesterol and high in fibre. Such fill-ups will greatly reduce circulatory-system deposits.
BODY WORK/CHASSIS CONSIDERATIONS
Regular exercise gives the body a deep healthful lustre that lends protection improves performance and helps is hold it's value for longer. Exercise not only makes the body more fit for sex but also stimulates the mind by making you feel sexier. ABS - Your abdominal muscles (abs) are the chief thrusting muscles for intercourse. To strengthen them, do crunches. These exercises are just like sit-ups except that you don't raise your body up as far. Simply lie on your back with your hands crossed over your chest Lift your shoulders six to eight inches off the floor, while trying to bring your chin to your chest. You'll feel a tightening in your gut.
ALIGNMENT
One third of all penile ruptures occur during lovemaking. They're caused by sudden shifts in position or by awkward attempts at parallel parking with the partner on top. The tearing of tissue that occurs within an erect penis is often audible and always extremely painful. Such injures tend to happen where there is a lack of space, such as between the steering wheel and drivers seat. To protect yourself and your passenger always use turn signals before changing positions.
SAFETY BELTS
It's highly recommended that you wear an athletic support (jock strap) for activities that involve running, jumping and sudden movement. This device tucks the testicles close to the undercarriage to protect them from jarring.
CAUTION!
Wearing polyester underwear may contribute to impotence because of the static electricity generated by man made materials. Loose 100% cotton shorts are recommended.
CONDOM DEPLOYMENT
Use only condoms from a sealed package bearing an expiry date. Be careful of fingernails, rings and other objects that could tear or puncture the material. Never open a condom package with your teeth or on your partners spiked collar. Squeeze the air from the receptacle end of the condom and roll it down over the erect penis before penetration occurs. Use only water-based lubricants such as K-Y-Jelly with latex condoms. Petroleum-based brands can damage the condom. During withdrawal, hold the base of the condom to keep it from coming off. And use each condom only once.
MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE
Your privates are the result of centuries of engineering. Before leaving the factory, every effort was made to ensure that they were in good working condition. To keep them running smoothly regular maintenance is required.
TO BE DONE DAILY
It's especially important for uncircumcised men to retract the foreskin and wash around the head of the penis every day.
TO BE DONE WEEKLY (AT LEAST)
Sex is the best exercise for your privates. Regularly flushing the system with nourishing blood and oxygen assures optimum sperm production, prostate health and overall good performance. When intercourse is not possible, consider revving your engine manually.
TO BE CHECKED MONTHLY
After taking a warm bath or shower to relax the scrotum, you should gently roll each testicle between your fingers. It should be smooth and oval shaped, feeling kind of like a hard-boiled egg with out the shell. Compress it gently, searching for any hard areas or lumps that don't feel like the surrounding tissue.
YEARLY INSPECTION
Once your equipment reaches forty years old, have your prostate checked annually. This gland surrounds the urethra like a doughnut and, if left to enlarge, can reduce an older man's urine stream to a dribble. Prostate cancer is also a concern. Both of these problems can be avoided if detected early. A complete yearly inspection should include three things: A digital rectal exam (sorry mate but we're talking finger here, not computer). A blood test for prostate-specific antigens (psa), an early warning sign of trouble. An ultrasound scan to create a visible image of the tissue.
WARNING!
Using your privates for anything other than their intended purpose voids all warranties, written or implied.
SERVICING
The frequency of ejaculation/Intercourse among:-
20-29 year olds = 4-5 times weekly
30-39 year olds = 2-4 times weekly
40-49 year olds = 1-2 times weekly
50-59 year olds = 0-1 times weekly
60 plus = 1-2 times monthly
Shagnasty = 5 times daily! (Oh Yes my friends)
AUTOMATIC SYSTEMS CHECK
Each night, your privates automatically run a self-diagnostic systems check. Most times you will be unaware this is happening. Periodic erections will occur whilst you're asleep, as will an occasional emission. Do not be alarmed. Your privates are simply flushing themselves with fresh blood and oxygen to stay in optimum working condition. If you have a reasonable doubt this is happening, do the following test: Wrap some postage stamps from a roll firmly around the base of your penis and tape the ends together. The next morning, if the stamps are torn along the perforation, you've had an erection. (If you wake up in Newcastle sorting office with a postmark, try the test again, but don't sleep so close to the post-box.)
FLUID LEAKS
After urinating, apply gentle upward pressure under the base of the penis. This will usually squeeze out any remaining drops and prevent any embarrassing stains on the upholstery.
CHECKING UNDER THE BONNET
Your penis comes from the factory with its head completely covered by a fleshly protective foreskin. Some penis owners have had this foreskin surgically removed by an authorized mechanic via circumcision. This is usually performed for religious and/or aesthetic reasons because, if basic hygiene is followed, the presence or absence of a bonnet does not affect sensitivity, sexual performance or susceptibility to mechanical failure.
LUBRICATION ADDING OIL
For extra comfort and performance during long drives or when operating your penis in extremely dry conditions, you'll need to relube. Brands such as K-Y Jelly can be reactivated with a simple spritz of water.
DISPOSING OF USED OIL
When indiscriminately discarded, used oil can foul the bedroom environment. Flavoured lubes leave a sticky residue the required a soap-and-water scrubbing. Most no flavoured brands wipe clean with a towel.
APPEARANCE
Your privates are exposed to the corrosive effects of dirt, perspiration and ******l fluids (some of which in my experience can be more corrosive than others). To protect the finish, trim and exposed under body , it's important to wash often and thoroughly. Scrub any dirt and salt from crevices in the undercarriage and check that all drain holes are free from debris. After washing, allow all surfaces to drain and dry before parking in a confined space. If required you may polish your privates immediately.
MINOR CHIPS AND SCRATCHES
The skin of the penis and testicles is remarkably resilient. For chafing and small cuts that cause minimal bleeding, just wash with soap and water and apply an antiseptic ointment.
MAJOR DENTS
If you get hit in the testicles, scream, lie down, apply an ice-packed cloth and take some deep breaths. If there's swelling and the pain doesn't subside within a few minutes, continue the icing and get to a garage and seek mechanical assistance. A severe groin injury can cause sterility.
TROUBLESHOOTING
The diagnoses outlined are intended to serve only as guides to locate and temporarily correct minor faults or worries. Causes of unsatisfactory performance should be investigated and corrected by your doctor.

PROBLEM
SOLUTION

Penis seems small.
Few men are satisfied with the size of their penis. Keep in mind that the average ****** is just three to five inches long.
Left testicle is slightly larger and hangs lower than the right one.
Rarely are both testicles identical. In fact, the left one hangs lower in 80 percent of all cases.
Erections do not occur as quickly, nor are they as firm as they were.
This is common with older models. However, exercising regularly, following a low-fat diet, avoiding smoking and limiting alcohol are all antidotes, as is longer and more creative foreplay.
Ejaculation happens way to fast.
Try strengthening your PC muscle with Kegel exercises. The PC is the muscle you use to stop urine flow. Contract it now to familiarise yourself with the feeling. What you just did was a Kegel. Do 20, 50, 100 or more daily - at your desk or in the bath. Since it's the same muscle that contracts for ejaculation, strengthening it will give you more control during sex.
Ejaculation isn't as forceful or as plentiful as it once was.
Such misfiring often occurs with older engines. In fact, with vintage models, ejaculation may not occur at all, although an orgasm is experienced.
Pain in testicle.
Intermittent twinges are common, and anything that lasts less than a minute or so is no cause for worry. Testicular pain that builds gradually is usually caused by an infection or inflammation. Consult a certified mechanic or authorized dealership.

AVAILABLE OPTIONS/UPGRADES - Customise your privates to fit all your lifestyle needs
VASECTOMY
Enjoy worry-free motoring by having a trained technician cut the Vas Deferens, thereby preventing sperm from reaching the urethra. It's a safe quick (seven to ten minute), effective means of birth control, plus the sensation of ejaculation remains unchanged. Available in traditional snip or modern laser. To find out more, visit our vasectomy FAQ
TESTOSTERONE
Preserve the raw beauty of your libido with testosterone! This potent male hormone, manufactured chiefly in the testicles, is responsible for your sexual desire and, to some degree, your erections. But production declines after age 50. Some men, who have no physical problems but experience flagging desire, may benefit from testosterone supplements, which can be taken orally through a skin patch or injection.
PENIS ENLARGEMENT
Gain valuable inches by expanding your trunk! Body-Shop mechanics penis appear larger by cutting the ligaments that attach it to the pubic bone. Once this is done, the penis hangs a bit lower and looks larger. In addition body fat can also be injected under the skin of the penile shaft to make it thicker.
WARNING!
Most mechanics do not approve of the enlargement procedure, which compromises the penile suspension system and may undermine resale value. Consumers have reported lack of stability and loss of control when operating at high speeds.
CIRCUMCISION
See "Checking under the bonnet" above.
FORESKIN RESTORATION
For those who have grown unhappy with their circumcised model, Foreskin restoration may be possible. In this Do-It-Yourself procedure, skin from the shaft of the penis is gradually stretched with tape and even weights until it allegedly resembles a normal foreskin.
WARNING!
Foreskin will not be restored to showroom condition.
PENILE IMPLANTS
If you have chronic difficulty getting an erection and other impotence treatments have failed, consider the new line of deluxe penile implants. These are cylinders that are surgically placed inside the penis to make it firm enough for intercourse. Two models are available. A non-hydraulic implant consists of a pair of flexible silicone rods that can be bent up or down by hand. It's the simplest design, but since the penis remains semi-rigid, some men find it difficult to wear Chinos. A hydraulic implant includes a pair of hollow rods, a reservoir of saline solution and a pump, all concealed within the body. For an erection you simply squeeze your scrotum to inflate the penis.

HAPPY OWNERSHIP!

[TAG UR IT]

Never since I have been on Camaro5 did I think we'd be talking about penises...

And that's quite a bit of information ^^^!!!

And you even covered "mods!" LMAO!

[SSE 4 2SS]

Originally Posted by Tiberious

Real men shoot blanks!

John Wayne shot blanks in hundreds of movies, and no one called him sister boy....

Originally Posted by motorhead

Keep telling yourself that. In nature if your a male and can't reproduce ,you end up a meal.

Welcome to the 21st century, we no longer drag them around by their hair....and I promise you that having a vasectomy does nothing to the testerone levels....

Originally Posted by Blackhawk6

I have had it done. Well worth it. Wife says it no longer a weapon its a toy

Poke fun, shoot blanks, she is more relaxed not having to worry about getting pregnant again, and so usually your sex life is much more active...

Originally Posted by d69chris

Like I said nothing to it. I was 42 and had three kids. I would not recommend it to anyone under 40, unless you have six kids. Expensive to undo and no guaranty.

Under 50 with no kids, DON'T DO IT! If you meet the right woman, you WILL want kids. Don't care what you say today.

Versed cost $25 more, but you will be woke up and have no idea what just happened. I thought they were just getting started, but they were pulling my shorts up! After they push the Versed into the IV you are Sargent Shultz......you know NOTHING!

Versed is the bestus stuff made in my opinion...

Originally Posted by 2010 SSRS

don't do it.

Care to elaborate, or is this just a cro-magnon opinion... it's a vasectomy, not a removal of manhood.... He'll still have a Camaro..

Originally Posted by Pollock

We have twins and do not want anymore kids.
Wife cant take birth control because it affects her liver in a strange way.

I am scared to death of the idea of getting the procedure done but would really like to finish inside if you know what I mean.

You can offer your wife few things that mean more... Why force her hand on long term medical affects when in 30 minutes you're fixed, she is relaxed, and isn't forced to take things that mess with her liver....Diamonds and Livers are for ever... little squiggly things are for a month or so.... according to the medical text posted above...

[mlee]

O crap... a 3 page thread I'm going to have to read... when I get time...



...don't do it...

[motorhead]

Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS

Welcome to the 21st century, we no longer drag them around by their hair....and I promise you that having a vasectomy does nothing to the testerone levels....

So were not supposed to drag them by the hair anymore. When did that stop? I didn't get the stone tablet memo.

[navyblue2000]

Go for it. Shucks, I'm 27, will be 28 when my daughter (our 2nd child) is born, and I fully expect to have a vasectomy by the time I'm 30.

And, if you get the itch (if that's what you want to call it) to have kids again, you can always have it reversed, which I'm told is MUCH more painful.

cousin had a vasectomy at 19 (don't ask, long story), reversed at 24, and he got his wife pregnant within 3 months of the reversal surgery.

[v6sonoma]

Originally Posted by PAUL SS

You won't feel a thing if the doc is any good. Do it on a Friday and take it easy as mentioned above. You won't have any side effects, fella.

I think I just learned a little to much today. lol

[SSE 4 2SS]

Originally Posted by motorhead

So were not supposed to drag them by the hair anymore. When did that stop? I didn't get the stone tablet memo.

I tried, and she , I have to sleep sometime...

[Blackhawk6]

Originally Posted by TAG UR IT

Never since I have been on Camaro5 did I think we'd be talking about penises...

And that's quite a bit of information ^^^!!!

And you even covered "mods!" LMAO!

Sorry, had to stay with the theme of the website. But don't expect any DIY manuals