[Waco]

Here's another quote I like, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience" No matter what the other parents think, you'll be able to sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing. And your daughter WILL appreciate you for it later, as she matures. Those other kids will walk all over their parents for the rest of their lives...

[1badtie]

there is a big differance between being the cool parents that throw a big party for the whole senior class and let them drink thats over the top... but not letting your daughter out and sheltering her and ruining her social life if a little over the top too IMO i would try to find a place in the middle i mean really what do you think shes going to do in college? be home by 11 every friday and saturday night probably not..

[d69chris]

Assume the 80/20 rule. you might know 20% of what's going on.

Keep them close and monitored, not the ankle type.

Get her involved in an activity with you, like marshal arts.

[SleepWarz]

most start way younger, 14-15.

Maybe if we could drop this 'drinking is cool' bit kids would be less apt to keep trying to get hammered. Because alcohol is the true gateway drug....

A good hangover always seems to get some to stop drinking.....

[VR Code R6P]

Here here. I agree, and well said.

Originally Posted by Waco

Here's another quote I like, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience" No matter what the other parents think, you'll be able to sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing. And your daughter WILL appreciate you for it later, as she matures. Those other kids will walk all over their parents for the rest of their lives...

[Zabo]

Originally Posted by SSOOCH

I have two Daughters. One is 9, the other 11. Stories like Scotts give me acid reflux!!

Time to get on that Lipotor train, man.. gave my 'rents 'strokes' between me and my younger bro.

Scott, one day she'll understand. Until then.. like they said, stick to your guns and just weather the storm.

[Scrappy Doo]

Sounds like me at 17.

[jrc1122]

Tough situation... Good luck man!.. I've got quite a few years before I have to worry about this with my kids (I have a 2 and 3 year old). But I already worry about that stuff.

[Chewy]

[adding this after the fact - i have been drinking all evening]

Since i still consider myself young, and i'm sure plenty of you do too i'll share my comments:
Does she do well in school? participate in extra curricular activities?

i knew plenty of kids in jr high and high school that smoked* and drank but still did well in school. they did everything they needed to, and used those as tools to relax and cut loose (i'm not saying they were justified or right! but they definitely didn't throw away their lives like most after school specials portray)

Personally i was working full time my senior year to help pay bills back @ home. the economy hit my family hard as well as health issues and i juggled all that with school. I'll openly admit i was drinking at that age, it wasn't right but it helped forget about everything that was going on. I'd known coke & drug dealers since i was 12/13 but never did any drugs or even smoke a cigarette. I viewed drinking as a much lesser evil.


I'm not trying to say its 'ok' because she could be doing worse things...but if she's handling the rest of her life as well as an adult can while the drink socially on the occasion - than i wouldn't spoil the last year of high school for her (punishment is definitely due though, don't get me wrong - lying + breaking rules = be held accountable) i think i would have handled it a little more 'in house' though. a lot of people say 'thats what i did at that age', doesn't mean you should stand by and let it happen - punishment is due, cause + effect.


hint/tip of advice: the chicks i knew that grew up under the strictest households were the ones that broke out & let loose more than anyone.


**All in all, every person/kid is different, depends how you were raised and who you are. If driving under the influence is involved in any matter you are ALWAYS justified in taking action*

[PoorMansCamaro]

Sit her down, get a 24 pack of the nastiest beer, and have her drink it all in one sitting.

Maybe that will help. Lol

[hummerman]

My personal experience with this situation is....
My parents were the same as you and all that did was make me hide it better... Now on the other hand my other friends that parents allowed them to drink at home underage turned out to be much more responsible drinkers and had a much closer relationship with there kids and friends.

Calling the police is way over board and has really made her look bad to her friends. Your actions are doing considerable damage to your family. Learn to relax and let her experiment because she going to do it anyway. She not out selling her body or drugs so relax. I would be ashamed of myself for hurting her like that. Big deal she got boned up.

I think you owe her and her friends a really big IM SORRY.

This is my point of view only.

[Hicompression]

Originally Posted by PoorMansCamaro

Sit her down, get a 24 pack of the nastiest beer, and have her drink it all in one sitting.

Maybe that will help. Lol

Milwaukee's Best. LOL!

[9.8m/s/s]

so your trying to get your stepdaughter's friends and their parents arrested?

[JKLNHYD]

I have a brother that was the same way but it started out around 14-15. The best (and most effective advice) they ever got was a BOOT CAMP style recalibration. One day, my brother came home, without warning, to find everything except a bed and his dresser with clothes in his room, he was not allowed to go anywhere without one of my parents unless it was school, hardcore household rule adhearance, and in today's day and age with cell phones, computers, and such, remove all of it. Take the phone away (unless she's paying for it herself), remove her internet access in your house. Everything. Then as she improves, give her very small bits of it back over time. It's a rough few days but they will realize very soon how nice they have it...

Good luck however you choose to handle it...