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Old 06-21-2007, 11:04 PM   #29
Mr. Wyndham
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This was a great Idea for a thread...I LOVE THEM all, especially the 4 muscles to bitchslap sign...That's me to a 'T'
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Old 06-22-2007, 02:19 AM   #30
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I usually see this in mom-and-pop diners and such:

"I have two speeds, and if you don't like this one you really aren't going to like the other one."
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Old 06-22-2007, 03:17 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by ChevyNut View Post
My mom works from home and has this sign hanging over the fax machine

The main objective of all dedicated company employees is to thoroughly analyze all situation, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have all answers to these problems and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon.

HOWEVER...

When you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
I'd love to own a poster with this...that's priceless.
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Old 07-01-2007, 02:56 AM   #32
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Since we're on the topic of jokes...this is just priceless!:eek:
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:16 PM   #33
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HAHAHA!! Is this for real? Or is it like a SNL spoof?

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Old 07-02-2007, 01:00 AM   #34
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HAHAHA!! Is this for real? Or is it like a SNL spoof?

I couldn't tell ya. I got it in an email. The resemblance is too close for it to be coincidence. My guess is that someone photoshopped it. But, on the other hand, it could be for real.
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Old 07-07-2011, 07:06 PM   #35
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bump.
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Old 07-07-2011, 08:34 PM   #36
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My personal favorite
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Old 07-07-2011, 08:40 PM   #37
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Finally...a smart blonde joke.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs
to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan,
so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on
the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks
out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan! The
bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for
using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of
the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage
and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but
we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found
that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother
to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies . . . ."Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
As a natural blonde, I have to say this is by far the best one yet!!!
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Old 07-07-2011, 09:22 PM   #38
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I just like how the mods seem to have their own private thread.
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Old 07-07-2011, 09:37 PM   #39
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Makes you wonder what else they're hiding...
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Old 07-07-2011, 09:57 PM   #40
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Thanks for the chuckles - keep em coming

How did you ever find this from '07???
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Old 07-08-2011, 12:38 AM   #41
anglwngss
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I suffer from CDO. It's kinda like OCD, but the letters are in order, AS THEY SHOULD BE!
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Old 07-08-2011, 05:53 AM   #42
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Quote:
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I read this on another forum, and I had to share!

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you
really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you
Informed, the definition for each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
Being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask,
"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
Smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
Wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
So, what about us single guys?
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