[KILLER74Z28]

Calvin 2

[KILLER74Z28]

Calvin 3

[TAG UR IT]

Killer, those are GREAT!!!

I used to have a couple of the Calvin and Hobbes books. I hadn't seen the second half of part 1 and hadn't seen any of 2 or 3. Those were great and gave me a great laugh before hitting the sack. Thanks!

[acscamarochick06]

LOL I love this thread!

[TAG UR IT]

....

[TAG UR IT]

Court Tidbits (the last one is my favorite)

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. How did they keep from laughing while these were all taking place?
_________________________________________
Judge: "Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
________________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
_________________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_________________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?
_________________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_________________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_________________________________________
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_________________________________________
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
_________________________________________
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
_________________________________________
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
_________________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Would you repeat that question, please?
_________________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
_________________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_________________________________________
Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
A: I resent that question.
_________________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_________________________________________
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_________________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_________________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_________________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_________________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_________________________________________
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: OK.
Q: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_________________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
_________________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_________________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[KILLER74Z28]

Signs I Wish I Could Hang At Work

[KILLER74Z28]

Signs I Wish I Could Hang At Work 2

[KILLER74Z28]

Canadians Have a Sense of Humor

[TAG UR IT]

Nice...like those^. Here's a few more.

[MerF]

Greatest thread ever.

[AirGoya]

A blonde gets into her car to leave the parking lot. A guy in a camaro tries to sqeeze into the parking spot next to her and scrapes against her car. She yells, "What the hell? You're gonna have to pull out, its not gonna fit!" He replies, "Thats what she said!"

Thats priceless
I just made that up

[ChevyNut]

My mom works from home and has this sign hanging over the fax machine

The main objective of all dedicated company employees is to thoroughly analyze all situation, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have all answers to these problems and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon.

HOWEVER...

When you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

[acscamarochick06]

Originally Posted by ChevyNut

My mom works from home and has this sign hanging over the fax machine

The main objective of all dedicated company employees is to thoroughly analyze all situation, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have all answers to these problems and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon.

HOWEVER...

When you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

Haha!! I love that!