[SScattergunSS]

1st Joke....


~ I rear-ended a car this morning.
I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it!
He was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy!"
So I said, "Well then, which one ARE you?!"

That's how the fight started. ...............

2nd Joke....

~ A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street
and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with
nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots.
He arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are
you walking around like this?'
The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ...
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red
head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull
off my shirt.. So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my
pants... So I did..
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my
shorts...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and
says, 'Now go to town cowboy... '
'And here I am.'

Son of a Gun.... Blond Men do exist!!!! ~

[Bonnie]

So funny Ed, I like those!! Lmao

[SScattergunSS]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

So funny Ed, I like those!! Lmao

My Aunt actually sent me these.

[WadeWilson]

[2010 SSRS]

lmao, great jokes

[arod55]

Payed her off today (camaro) after eleven months. Now I can start saving for the 2012 Z-28. "Happy days are here again".

[Da Hose]

[Da Hose]

Originally Posted by arod55

Payed her off today (camaro) after eleven months. Now I can start saving for the 2012 Z-28. "Happy days are here again".

Congrats

[Doc]

Here's a few more of this classic style (which my brother sent to me):

-------------------------------------------

My wife walked into the den & asked;
"What's on the TV?"

I replied, "Dust"

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said;
"I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a set of Bathroom scales.

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said; "Do you want to make love?"

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband;
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies;
'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.

[WadeWilson]

Originally Posted by Doc

Here's a few more of this classic style (which my brother sent to me):

-------------------------------------------

My wife walked into the den & asked;
"What's on the TV?"

I replied, "Dust"

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said;
"I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a set of Bathroom scales.

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said; "Do you want to make love?"

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband;
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies;
'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.

[SScattergunSS]

Doc, these were all great! Thanks for putting 'em up!