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Oh, so it's fart stories, eh?
A few years ago I was in an aisle at the supermarket when I was suddenly possessed by the need to heavily fart. I let it go as soundlessly as possible. Just then a woman with a pre-teenage son appears at my side. She is obviously disconcerted by the horrendous assault on her schnoz; she looks at me in my rather disguising grey headed innocence, and then she turns to her boy, clouts him on his ear, and tells him how ashamed she is of him to do such a thing in the presence of a "gentleman" such as myself. The kid eyed me accusingly, but he kept silent. He apparently knew he couldn't win one here with the odds stacked against him. I almost revealed the truth, but then I remembered that the injustices of youth make one a better person if allowed to fester for a few decades...
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