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I had marked several longer posts to quote and add to but you have some pretty good advice in here.
hrpiii is my favorite. Give it time. Don't try for anything. If years go by and she wants to try it again then it's up to you. But you'll be plenty over it by then.
Oh, and 'Emotional Affair' is a new term to me. Good way to put it. It most certainly is relevant. I could MUCH more easily get over my wife having a stupid party foul meaninless affair than a more involved one. So you are the initial vilain. And an absolute FOOL for 'Fessing up'. What good could come from that? Sometimes the term 'What she/he don't know won't hurt them' can be legitimate. (NOT premeditatively and cheap)
And then for you to continue a line of ANY type of comunication was just stupid. Your wife was done as soon as that agreement was made. Her attempts were unintentionaly half hearted after that.
Do right by your kids and let it go.
Oh, and you tears are just pathetic to her. So stop that.
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