[navyblue2000]

I'll try to make a long story as short as possible.

Three years ago, shortly after my son was born, I had an emotional affair. It was an old friend from when I was younger. We reconnected on facebook, and as innocently as things started, they decayed. Emails, text messages, just not good. I realized I was looking forward to getting to work so I could text this girl all day. Well, I realized I was being a fool, and fessed up. Of course, my wife was not at all pleased about this, but she assured me we would work through it, and that as long as I would not do it anymore, things would end up okay.

Two years later (last year), she says she still isn't happy from what happened, and we need to get counseling. The day before our first session, we find out she's pregnant. We had been trying for a baby, she had stopped her birth control in the middle of June. It was July 4th weekend she told me she wasn't happy. We went to counseling the 3rd week or so of July. We only went the once, as I would find out much later that it was because she wanted to keep stress off the baby. OK, fine. I wish she would have told me that instead of dancing around questions of when we would see the counselor again.

I November of 2010, she and I had a conversation about this girl, that I had not been in contact with her, that we DID have several of the same friends, and that I wanted to make things right so that if we saw each other in public, we wouldn't have to run the other way or be really awkward. The then-wife said "that's fine, be careful". the then-wife and I had exchanged emails over this, and she even said she was glad how far I had come over the summer. So, with what seemed to be my wife's permission, I added this girl on facebook. There was hardly any conversation, and NOTHING personal exchanged. Then-wife had been facebook friends with this girl since before my son was born..."to keep tabs on me" she said later, long after I removed this girl the first time

Our daughter was born March 10. Fast forward to 6 weeks after that, the day before easter. She says she's not happy again, is done trying. She saw that this girl was a mutual friend now on facebook. I tried explaining the conversation we had back in November, but she didn't want to hear it. We spend the next week in the same house, she goes out of town and makes it very clear she wants me gone when she gets home. So we live apart for a week and start counseling again. Seems like we make good progress for 2 sessions. We have a bit of an argument on a Saturday night, she refuses to go to church with me on Sunday, and decides she is going to contact a divorce lawyer instead of going back to counseling. On Monday, she packs her stuff, takes the kids, and leaves. That was the third week of May I believe. The divorce was finalized July 6.

Now, I am still a mess over this. I wanted to and did my best to make things right. She is totally apathetic. We would try to talk, I wear tear up a little, she'd just tell me to stop crying, and didn't understand why I was so upset. "Get it through your head, we're NOT getting back together!" she would say. I'm torn up. I started on anti-depressants, started seeing a counselor on my own, meanwhile the ex is totally indifferent towards me. She offers no explanation, doesn't feel the need to explain herself, won't tell me anything. I have a VERY hard time believing someone could "move on" so quickly. She even told me "I'm looking forward to being a single mom". I heard her talking to someone at her church's vacation bible school last night, this lady was talking to her about bringing the kids to church, every other weekend because they were at their dad's every other weekend. She just looked at her, all smiles, kind of laughing "oh yeah, my kids are like that too".

I have a 3 year old son and 5 month old daughter...she thought divorce was "best for the kids", yet my son, even just being three, constantly asks me if mommy will stay with us, or if I will go back to mama's with him. Definitely sounds best for the kids.

Anyone have an ex-spouse like this? I mean, I'm honestly waiting for her to hit the wall and realize she made a huge mistake. I'm not holding my breath, but kind of hoping for it. I think there may be some post partum issues as well, with as quickly as she moved with everything, and how soon everything happened after the baby was born. If she didn't want to be married anymore, I wish she would have said so, instead of writing my family blistering emails about how I had been such a horrible husband having an emotional affair three years ago, and how she held it inside for so long.

ok, sorry for the novel.