Today is just a d**k day!
 

Penis jokes. Not sure how or why they started but somehow they did. Not straight up vulgar jokes just words that didnt sound right. Dont know what i mean? Ok Lucy lemme splain! We are doing a little remodeling in the QA lab, my office, and we are installing new computer cabinets and some new plumbing. It all started innocently enough and just kinda snowballed. For instance, my boss and another supervisor were looking at a cabinet. And someone said. "If we screw it here it will work" . Giggles erupt followed by "i bet it would!". More giggles. Then i said "just put it in.". Haha! More giggles. Jeez! One guy says "it should only stick out about 2 inches" .The ball was rolling with to much momentum. Laughter rings out. Then the capper. My boss is bent over looking at some piping seeing if its the correct size and says "it should slide right in."...............BAAAWAAAAWAAAA!




I know but we are just men.

No apologies... stand tall, be proud, hold your head up!

It's only ok when the boss laughs! Lol

We do that kind of thing all the time at work. Funny stuff right there.

Now my joke. Guy was telling me that his wife never does anything with him any more. He got an idea to take her fishing that weekend. So he got up that morning and said "Hey dear, I thought we would take the dog and go fishing today." She replied "I'm not going fish." He go so pissed that he said "I giving you two choices. Either go fishing or give me a BJ. Think about it while I go hook up the boat." He comes back inside and says "Well, what have you decided?" She replied "I guess number two because I'm not going fishing." So she starts on him and says "yuck!!" and starts to cough. She says "That's gross!" , and he says "Yeah, the dog didn't want to go either."

Very mild office humor compared to what went on in my former chosen profession. Did my work in a poker club and a bar. No holds barred.

What's amazing is one lady had a weekly routine, on Wednesdays she's go to church and then come play poker. I swear that's a true story. Anyway, MMA fights were on and she asked me to change the channel because it was offensive. I mean I told her I would, but that I was shocked after all the filth she had heard come out of my mouth that MMA was what she found offensive.

Haha. Yeah, the jokes just kept rolling. At least it made it fun to be at work on a Saturday.

Heard this one at work the other day....


This guy whom had gotten fed up with the day to day life of living in the city decided it was time to finally live his dream, quit his job and buy a nice spread of land in Texas and retire. Well, he finds this beautiful stretch of land, no neighbors from what he can see, perfect view of the sunset at night...what he has always hoped it would be. Well, one evening he's sitting on his porch about to watch the sunset when a pickup comes barreling down his drive, kicking up a shitload of dust as it comes skidding to a halt. The guy driving jumps out and excitedly hollers "Howdy neighbor! I live just over yonder a few miles and wanted to come and welcome you to the area." "Having a party later on and thought I would come over and invite you to join on in, there's gonna be drinkin...there's gonna be eatin......there's gonna be fightin....and there's gonna be fuc$in....The new land owner says well hell yeah that sounds like an awesome time, you can count me in! What should I wear though? To which the neighbor replies...Oh it don't matter it's just gonna be you and me!...........:thumbup:

Now that was funny.

Yes that was vey funny. http://i492.photobucket.com/albums/r...bs2-up_new.gif

A friend once told me that his dick had a very sad life...his hair was always a mess, his nearest neighbor was an a$$hole, his best friend was a p***y...and worst of all...his owner beat him on a daily basis.

:laugh:

here's one for a laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8273HGqxEc

Oh sure, after finding this thread yesterday, I get to work this morning and hear the woman across the aisle from me say "So Greg, do you want to go down?"

(no, I'm not Greg and they were talking about going to the cafeteria, but....)

Haha. I could have ran away with that one.